[
  {
    "title": "548. The Dean of Faculty: A new Ballad",
    "author": "Robert Burns",
    "lines": [
      "DIRE was the hate at old Harlaw,",
      "  That Scot to Scot did carry;",
      "And dire the discord Langside saw",
      "  For beauteous, hapless Mary:",
      "But Scot to Scot ne’er met so hot,",
      "  Or were more in fury seen, Sir,",
      "Than ’twixt Hal and Bob for the famous job,",
      "  Who should be the Faculty’s Dean, Sir.",
      "",
      "",
      "This Hal for genius, wit and lore,",
      "  Among the first was number’d;",
      "But pious Bob, ’mid learning’s store,",
      "  Commandment the tenth remember’d:",
      "Yet simple Bob the victory got,",
      "  And wan his heart’s desire,",
      "Which shews that heaven can boil the pot,",
      "  Tho’ the devil piss in the fire.",
      "",
      "",
      "Squire Hal, besides, had in this case",
      "  Pretensions rather brassy;",
      "For talents, to deserve a place,",
      "  Are qualifications saucy.",
      "So their worships of the Faculty,",
      "  Quite sick of merit’s rudeness,",
      "Chose one who should owe it all, d’ye see,",
      "  To their gratis grace and goodness.",
      "",
      "",
      "As once on Pisgah purg’d was the sight",
      "  Of a son of Circumcision,",
      "So may be, on this Pisgah height,",
      "  Bob’s purblind mental vision—",
      "Nay, Bobby’s mouth may be opened yet,",
      "  Till for eloquence you hail him,",
      "And swear that he has the angel met",
      "  That met the ass of Balaam.",
      "",
      "",
      "In your heretic sins may you live and die,",
      "  Ye heretic Eight-and-Tairty!",
      "But accept, ye sublime Majority,",
      "  My congratulations hearty.",
      "With your honours, as with a certain king,",
      "  In your servants this is striking,",
      "The more incapacity they bring,",
      "  The more they’re to your liking."
    ],
    "linecount": "40"
  }
]